Ten Hot Hollywood Women That Aged Horribly

Everyone gets older, even the most famous and beautiful women in the world. And even though this is simply a fact of life, it is possible to age gracefully. However, there is a large contingent of women in Hollywood that simply refuse to accept time and what it has done to their appearances. It is because of this denial that many famous and gorgeous women have hampered their ability to age gracefully. This is due to the egregious quantity of plastic surgery many of these former famous faces have received, which has rendered many famous women virtually unrecognizable. But others just got fat, ugly, and mannish when age slapped them briskly upside the face, just like a character on Dynasty.

10

Pamela Anderson

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Pamela Anderson, the Canadian actress and model, known primarily for her extensive work in Playboy, her stint on Home Improvement, and her legendary role as C.J. Parker on Baywatch, was the quintessential sex symbol of the 1990s. But let’s please be mindful of the “was.” While no doubt her bubbly personality still survives intact, the rest of her is fading fast. In fact, one of the world’s most famous pin-ups of the last 15 years no longer even allows her face to be filmed up close, and there are strict demands regarding lighting, should she be photographed. Her skin has been completely demolished by her self-proclaimed avoidance of sunscreen. This is clearly not the way to avoid serious skin damage and wrinkles. The years of rock and roll excess have also taken their toll; her body has significant bulges in the stomach, so much so that numerous pregnancy rumors have intermittently floated about. But have no fear, Pamela Anderson has kept true to form by wearing the skimpiest of outfits, like the bodysuit she wore while appearing as a magician’s assistant, complimented by the cellulite covering the bulk of her surprisingly massive thighs and now shapeless butt. And her once perfectly gorgeous face looks tired, and she’s only 41 years old! The pounds of makeup she often spackles onto her face has done her no favors either. Nowadays, she looks like one of the “ladies” on the late-night HBO documentary about tranny hookers working in Hawaii. Worst of all, Anderson is in some serious denial. You can often find her, completely beat, embarrassingly parading down some wannabe designer’s runway, nearly nude.

9

Alicia Silverstone

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When she was only a teenager, Alicia Silverstone became the not-so-secret obsession for millions of sex-starved high school boys when she starred in two Aerosmith music videos and the iconic 1995 movie, Clueless. Back then, Alicia Silverstone could be described as “perfection.” Unfortunately, she has allowed her green and vegan lifestyle to transform her from movie star into dirty, unkempt hippie. I fail to see the correlation between caring about the planet and not caring about your appearance. Quite frankly, she now looks like she smells. Many may be overwhelmed by the urge to chuck her headfirst into the bath. As evidenced from the picture above, she clearly does not wash her face. And the only culprit here is her own indifference. Silverstone is still definitely thin, but she is now pasty, white and sloppy. She desperately needs to get back onto a regimen like her Clueless character, Cher, complete with a little tanning and many exercise videos.

8

Teri Hatcher

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Teri Hatcher rose to prominence on the television show Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, which aired from 1993 to 1997. Her sex symbol status was verified when she became a Bond girl in Tomorrow Never Dies. The sultry brunette was voted the world’s sexiest woman by readers of FHM magazine that same year. But time clearly put the fear of God into Teri Hatcher, and she has obviously utilized a small army of plastic surgeons in her eternal battle against aging. In the March 2006 issue of Glamour magazine, the current star of Desperate Housewives admitted, “In the past, I’ve had Botox and collagen, but I haven’t had anything done in over a year.” Yeah, right, her and Heidi Montag. Anyone that believes that claim was most likely born yesterday. Generally, the results of Botox only last for about 3 months. This leaves skeptics wondering how Teri’s skin remains perfect, despite having allegedly avoided the doctor’s office. The actress has a seemingly flawless skin and wrinkles are nowhere to be found. This could be the result of the use of procedures such as Botox or fillers injections. How can she possibly claim that no chemicals are involved in her current look? She looks like The Joker after he fell into the vat of Axis Chemicals. Too obscure? Nevertheless, there has no doubt been a facelift performed, and her surgeon was most likely Michael J. Fox. It’s science; a woman’s skin does not become tighter once she passes 40. Moreover, it appears that she had some sort of work done on the skin beneath her eyes, perhaps a lower eye lift, and a few experts believe that her surgeon employed the new technique of removing fat by going in underneath the actual eyeball, perhaps with a spork.

7

Jessica Simpson

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Many may be surprised to see Jessica Simpson listed; however, she has clearly taken a sabbatical on maintaining her sex symbol status. She originally arrived on the music scene with a bevy of other blonde teenage acts in 1999, but hit the big time with her then-husband, Nick Lachey, in Newlyweds. On the show, she was seen as the naïve, but sweet and beautiful all-American girl. She then parlayed television and musical success into movie roles, most notably as the sexy and rambunctious Daisy Duke in the remake of Dukes of Hazzard. At an age when she should be at the pinnacle of her glamour and hotness, she has transformed into a bloated, overfed hippopotamus. And while the weight gain has made her breasts even better, which can easily be seen as a positive, her arms, butt, and waist have also expanded dramatically. But that isn’t her only self-destructive beauty alteration. She had her lips enhanced, in retrospect saying, “I had that Restylane stuff … It looked fake to me. I didn’t like that. But… it went away in, like, four months. My lips are back to what they were. Thank God!” However, her lips still look unnaturally plump, but it is likely she continues to make them bigger in order to distract people from her enormous gut. Along with her looks, her career decline was swift. Her third film, Blonde Ambition, earned only $6,422. Simpson’s next movie, Private Valentine: Blonde and Dangerous, was released straight to DVD in 2009. And Jessica Simpson’s foray into the realm of plastic surgery is apparently not yet complete. Just a few weeks ago it was reported that she spent “nearly six hours” visiting with “numerous plastic surgeons.” Stay tuned.

6

Meg Ryan

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Meg Ryan was adorable as Goose’s wife in Top Gun. She was girl-next-door sexy in movies like When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle. In 1994, People magazine named her one of their “50 Most Beautiful People.” However, America’s Sweetheart, simple, cute and naturally sexy, is long gone. Rumor has it that her self-image suffered when she separated from husband Dennis Quaid, following an affair with Russell Crowe. As she fought to stop time and hang onto beauty, she actually did a serious number on her looks. She appears to have had lip implants placed in her upper lip. In the 1990s, many plastic surgeons used implants to “permanently” enlarge the lips; however, most patients eventually had them taken out because they are too firm to look like normal lips. This is perhaps what caused Meg Ryan’s upper lip to look unnaturally stiff. Rumor has it that Ryan realized something was wrong with her lips when she was contacted by Bass Pro Shops, who were interested in hiring her to play the role of the large-mouth bass in its new ad campaign. In addition, this implant can also make the mouth look wider because it doesn’t allow the lip to pucker normally. The enormity of her lips may have been further exaggerated with injectables like Restylane, which surgeons often use to enhance the borders of the lips. Speculation also has it that Meg Ryan has had cheek implants, as her face looks surprisingly fuller in her older age. Her current cheek situation may also be the result of fat grafting, likely combined with other tightening procedures, like a facelift, forehead lift or necklift, seeing as Meg has not one ounce of sagging skin. Many also believe she has had her nose done. Unfortunately, the final result of Meg Ryan’s anti-aging panic has rendered her virtually unrecognizable.

5

Melanie Griffith

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A former Academy Award nominee and Golden Globe winner for Working Girl, as well as the daughter of beautiful The Birds actress Tippi Hedren, actress Melanie Griffith began doing nude scenes at the tender age of 17, with roles in movies such as Night Moves. When she was only 14 years old, Griffith began dating a 22-year-old Don Johnson, who had just finished co-starring in a movie with her mother. She even played a beautiful, seductive porn star in the 1984’s racy, Body Double. In Body Double, she was pure sexual fantasy, but now she has arisen from the hollows of plastic surgery nightmares. A tabloid star, even before her many run-ins with a butcher-like plastic surgeon (has the dastardly Michael J. Fox struck again?), Melanie Griffith struggled with drugs and alcohol, leading to more than one trip to rehab. The booze obviously contributed to rapid aging. And when age comes knocking on a beautiful movie star’s door, the new addictions it ushers in can be just as powerful and dangerous as those caused by the most vicious drugs. In fact, Melanie Griffith sought some frightfully misguided solutions to her aging problems. She is an admitted plastic surgery addict, and there are major differences in her lips and cheeks, most notably. Her eyes now have a bizarre tilt from being pulled too tightly, and her skin is unnaturally tight all over. Frankly, her doctor should have his medical license taken away; she looks like a sad clown, forced to smile because her surgeon positioned her mouth that way. Realistically, nothing says a louder, “I am getting really old,” than a whole load of unnecessary, invasive surgical procedures. Michael J. Fox could not be reached for comment. She looks like a burnt out biker’s old lady; she has the stretched-out tattoos, the over-processed blonde hair, and the sagging breasts. This is the complete package if you are a used-to-be-hot hag prowling the local dive bar or petty criminal hangout.

4

Brigitte Bardot

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Brigitte Bardot, simultaneously an actress, singer, and glamour model, was one of the foremost examples of female sexuality in the 1950s and 1960s. Movies like And God Created Women made her an international star. She had numerous intense relationships with famous men. Bob Dylan dedicated the first song he ever wrote the Brigitte Bardot. There was not a criticism of her face or body to be had, unless that person was criminally insane. Unfortunately, time has committed a cruel injustice upon the beauty that was once Brigitte Bardot. She is now overweight and totally unkempt. Her face looks just like an English bulldog, jowls and all. Today, not only does she look like a haggard, angry, old cat-lady, but she is bat-shit crazy. Part of her personalized aging process included becoming completely senile. She is an outspoken opponent of Muslims in France, once stating, “…my country, France, my homeland, my land is again invaded by an overpopulation of foreigners, especially Muslims.” Moving on to the gay community, she stated that some contemporary homosexuals behave like “fairground freaks.” In her own defense, Bardot then compared her own beliefs to previous generations who had “given their lives to push out invaders.” What a completely heinous looking heroine she is, and so tragically misunderstood! She has also been charged more than once by the French government for generally “inciting racial hatred.” Someone needs to put this old dog down already.

3

Whitney Houston

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Everyone knows the tragic story of Whitney Houston. Beginning first as a fashion model, she was actually one of the first women of color to appear on the cover of Seventeen magazine. Her amazing voice rocketed her to stardom in the 1980s, with hits including “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”, “How Will I Know”, and “So Emotional.” She put the cherry on top of her musical success by becoming a movie star, with movies such as The Preacher’s Wife and Waiting to Exhale. However, her marriage to Bobby Brown introduced her to a life of drug use, physical abuse, and overall turmoil. With missed performances and significant weight loss, rumors about Houston using drugs with her husband circulated. When asked about the ongoing drug rumors, Houston infamously and hilariously replied, “First of all, let’s get one thing straight. Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let’s get that straight. Okay? We don’t do crack. We don’t do that. Crack is wack.” Houston did, however, admit to using various substances at times. In the 2004 reality series, Being Bobby Brown, Whitney Houston was seen at rock bottom, clearly in the midst of some major drug abuse. Despite appearing to be on-the-mend from her addictions in 2009, her out-of-this-world voice and beauty have clearly gone fishing. In fact, fans have been storming out of her “comeback” concerts all over the world. To make matters worse, her drug abuse is showing on every facet of her face, and she looks like a grandmother, not a 46 year old woman of significant wealth and success. The physical trauma she put her body through due to her prolonged drug abuse has left her bloated. She does not take simple, rudimentary care of herself. When Humpty Dumpty is put back together for a public appearance, her actions are still those of a dazed, and oftentimes delirious, woman. Ms. Houston looks, simply put, “rough.” Sadly, recent reports even claim that Whitney has found her way back to drugs.

2

Kathleen Turner

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Kathleen Tuner made her film debut in 1981 in the thriller, Body Heat, a role which would bring her international fame. She won Golden Globe awards for Romancing the Stone and Prizzi’s Honor. Empire Magazine named her one of the 100 Sexiest Stars in Film History in 1995. With her deep, sultry voice, she was like a young Lauren Bacall, a natural femme fatale. In fact, her very being oozed a powerful, yet unintentional sexuality. Her fame grew, and she even gained a reputation for being quite a diva, with a rude and nasty sense of entitlement. But looking at her today, it is hard to believe she is only 56 years old. Her ancient-looking appearance is generally said to be due to a delightful mixture of her drinking, rheumatoid arthritis, and some poor genetics. She has personally blamed her bloated face on the type of steroid she takes to treat her painful arthritis. But as a result of her altered looks, The New York Times indicated that rumors were circulating that she was drinking heavily. Turner has had well-publicized problems with alcohol. Turner has claimed that due to her illness, she was in constant unbearable agony and that she was constantly drinking to relieve the pain. She eventually completed a stint in rehab to cure her alcohol addiction. But her love of drinking apparently reigns supreme, and word around New York is that she is still a loud mouth, nasty drunk in public. She looks like she’s been taking testosterone supplements in preparation for a sex change operation, but that obviously does not bother her one bit.

1

Goldie Hawn

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Goldie Hawn has been in the public eye for centuries. Correction, decades. Goldie Hawn is an actress, film director, producer, and occasional singer. Hawn is known for her many roles, including Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, Private Benjamin, Wildcats, Overboard, Bird on a Wire, The First Wives Club, and Cactus Flower, for which she won the 1969 Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress. On Laugh-In, she would often break out into high-pitched giggles in the middle of a joke, and deliver a polished performance a moment after, all-the-while in her bikini and painted body. Hawn was a true 1960s “It” girl. Following her Academy Award win, her career took off and she has starred in successful movies in five different decades.

At the ripe age of 64, her generally disgusting appearance is largely due to her stubborn refusal to dress her age and take appropriate care of her aging body. Recent photographs of Goldie often show her wearing spaghetti-strapped dresses, or some other immodest clothing, complete with folds of skin hanging off her arms and breasts sagging down to her navel. It may come as a surprise to know that any semblance of her old self has most likely been maintained with the help of neck tightening, laser resurfacing to combat sun damage, face lifts to reduce the bags under the eyes, and fillers to hide wrinkles. Going against common practice, she apparently needs to go back to the plastic surgeon. Whatever she is doing is not working. Thankfully, Goldie has the Hollywood-requisite fish-face lips. You will rarely find her without a ton of makeup on her face, but unfortunately, not even her makeup professionals can hide the proof of what a cruel bastard time has been to her. She looks absolutely frightening, and if they ever decided to remake The Shining, the casting director should sign her up immediately to play the dead women who comes out of the bathtub and tries to mack on Jack Torrence in Room 237.

Now quickly, avert your eyes, before you get a headache. Following the path of the wrinkles may make your mind go crazy, just like staring into one of those Magic Eye paintings. Is that a schooner on the side of Brigitte Bardot’s face? Others have so many pulls and tweaks that when paired with an obscene amount of makeup, looking at these scary clowns can give you many sleepless nights.


About Dana Bashor

Dana Bashor has absolutely no formal writing credentials whatsoever, but that doesn’t stop her from writing on topics that catch her attention such as planet antares science news. Dana Bashor loves to write about science, tech, humor and entertainment. Catch more of Dana Bashor on her blog.

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