Elvis gets Laid for Halloween
Every so often I find something on the internet that makes me question the choices I have made in life. Today was one of those days, when I discovered the brilliant dork known as Elvis Trooper and the world of comic book conventions. This genius has figured out that if you look like Elvis, and dress up like random characters from movies, then girls will fawn all over you in photographs. While this information doesn’t come to me at a point in time when I am prepared to make a similar move in my own life, it does come to me right before Halloween.
Ah, Halloween, when all the girls dress slutty, drink a ton, and look around the bar for the costume that would best fulfill their “fantasy”. What better fantasy than Elvis dressed as Han Solo, a Ghostbuster, or the aforementioned Storm Trooper? Now before you scoff at this notion, I have proof, in the form of a wild photo gallery. I am sure you have already scrolled down and looked at the pictures, but if I could just grab your attention for one paragraph more, we are going to look at how you can put this plan into motion. You’ll have to act quick if you want to get laid, as Halloween is just around the corner!
Now the first part of this plan, is that it doesn’t matter what size you are, you can still score as Elvis. Elvis ranged anywhere from fit and trim, to bloated and fat, but for whatever reason, the ladies still loved him. So obviously the most important thing is that you make your hair look like Elvis. If you don’t already have the sexy sideburns like I do, you will need to look to an Elvis Wig. That should do the trick, now next you will need a pair of Elvis Signature Glasses. From here it is optional, you have the Star Wars Costumes or just pick something else that you think would make you look desirable to drunken bar wenches. Then all you need to do is talk funny, make weird facial expressions, and wild gestures with your arms and hips, and the ladies will fall at your feet.
My wife just reminded me of that wedding we had a few years back, so this whole Halloween Elvis as a Storm Trooper plan is ruined for me. If you fall into the same boat, may I suggest some sexy costumes for the wife?
Now that was fun wasn’t it? We have a problem in the master plan though. I just received an e-mail from Elvis Trooper‘s mom. According to her, he is a virgin and still lives in the basement.