Ask a Girl : “If you ever cheat on me, I want to know…”

She’s beautiful, she’s smart and she does that thing with her fingers in your hair that turns you into a sixteen year old in the back seat of a car. Your girl… You love her. Sometimes, however, she just does something that leaves you wondering when her body was invaded by aliens from the planet HUH?!?.

Gunaxin realizes men need a place to ask those questions you could never actually discuss with her. So, we’re providing some of those answers you seek from a real live specimen of the female sex. So we’ll choose questions asked by real guys just like you about the women in their lives. Not only do we give you the answers you need, we also try to demonstrate practical solutions to put an end to the problem!

Seth in Tennessee asks:

“My wife and I were discussing a friend who got caught in an affair recently, and she shocked me by saying, “Seth, if you ever cheat on me, I want to know. I won’t get upset. There wouldn’t be any reason to get upset over a one night thing. If it was a long term thing, that would be different and I’d be mad. One night stands happen, though, and I would just want you to be honest with me.” Is this her way of giving me the green light to go after the cute blond at the bar on the corner, or is she setting me up for something?”

Answer:

Stop! Freeze! Do not move another inch, or say another word. You, my friend, have found yourself in between what ancient philosophers have described as a rock and hard place. No matter what you do at this point, it will not be right. Every movement you make, every facial expression, every noise you utter will be broken down and examined thoroughly, then twisted completely out of context, by your wife and her best friends at every gathering they have for the next three years.

There are two possible reasons she’s said this to you.

Either she already suspects you of having a one night stand, and she’s trying to make you feel like it’s no big deal so you’ll confess and she can begin sharpening her knife, or she’s had a one night stand herself and the guilt is making her want to confess, but she’s trying to plant the message in your head that it’s not something you should get pissed about.

Which basically means you’re screwed either way.

The Solution:

At this point, the best thing you can do is nothing at all. Change the subject, but do it gradually. Give it about four breaths, then say, “Why don’t we go out to dinner tonight? I guess this whole thing makes me realize how lucky I am we have such a perfect relationship, and I feel like celebrating that!”